On the subject of death.

Marty from Minnesota has sent me a question he would like answered, it is about my own death. This will be a three parter, starting today and ending when I get around to it.

Marty asks: How do you want to go out, how do you want to be displayed, and how would you like to be remembered?

Good question Marty. I guess first I should let you know how I don't want to go. Three easy ways I prefer not to die, sniper, zombies, or in my sleep. Why these three? Well the sniper is obvious, I believe we should get a fighting chance against the reaper and a bullet nailing you in the face from four football fields away is hardly sporting, yes I do feel that way about hunting as well but I eat what I kill, I don't hunt animals for sport, that's what castaways on my private island are for and yes, I would hunt dangerous animals with a spear and a Bowie knife so you can't question my sportsmanship. Zombie death is pretty cut and dry. Who really wants to die while filling the gullets of the undead? Not me baby. Dieing in my sleep is another way I hate the thought of, I feel that there is little dignity in soiling your linens on the way to the great unknown. It's bad enough you're dead, does the bed have to get ruined too? Many people say they would like to die while having sex. I feel that is rather thoughtless since maybe you would enjoy dieing like that but the emotional turmoil you would put the person you were having sex through may not really be fair. Dieing while having sex is only good if you die having sex with something you shouldn't, like a corpse, because of the irony, an animal, for the shear humor or 'Exploding Decoy Sodomy Baby', for the pure joy we all get from a dead child molester (for more about my EDSB initiative please look up my blog from October 19, 2007). Now to cover how I would like to go. That is a tough one and there is only one feasible answer that comes to mind. I have many generations of Scandinavian blood, so no drowning, burning or being eaten by the dragons that follow the mist. I guess I wouldn't mind putting up a real good fight before I went, something to be proud of as I wander from Midgard to Asgard, where I am to feast 'neath the branches of Yggdrasil. If that is really what happens. They probably just watch football and drink beer, which is fine too. There is the other thing were I say, I would not choose to die at all but eternally wander the Earth searching for the perfect whiskey and beer combination. Some people feel that this would get annoying and repetitive but screw them, they are just not inventive enough. I guess you gotta go sometime though so if I have to choose one way to go. Well Marty I suppose I'd have to choose last.

Next I will cover the displaying of me, that is, if I don't die after everyone else.