I'm back baby!

So it was that I traveled across this land of ours and am once again found, deposited upon the frozen vagina of our mother Earth. Yes, Minnesota, the coldest land inwhich I have ever lived. We Minnesotans now hold the record for coldest state ever since one of our Eastern tip cities achieved a wopping 40 degrees below zero and that was without the windchill. Yes it is cold here and, unlike my beloved California, there is little sun. The people here I find to be disagreeable, with their Midwestern passive aggressive-isms and their backstabbing wishy-washiness. I feel that it is indeed a terrible yet wonderful place to live, nothing really makes you appreciate warmth as much as freezing half to death simply walking from the car to your door. I tell you you, once you have had your toes stiffened while shoveling snow, you will never take a warm day in vain again. Bare foot in a hot sun beam, yeah that's the stuff. I have found that my beard grows faster here, which must be the Viking in me forcing the hair out, also the urge to build a long boat is getting relatively strong within me, the urges to burn, loot and pillage are at the same level as ever, that being very high. I am amazed to see that milk is more expensive in Minnesota than it was in California. That should tell you something about how retarded our corporate system is. For God's sake, we have all the cows up here and you need less refridgeration to ship dairy goods around, yet somehow it costs more to ship milk from Wisconsin to Minnesota then from South Dakota to California, cheese seems to be the same price which just adds to my theory of corporate retardation. Well I could bitch all day about the oddities of Minnesota life ( I will avoid, for now, getting involved in the MN policy of giving everyone who doesn't deserve it or earn it welfare but I am sure that story will come out once I have a steady paycheck that the state can rape so a few lazy idiots can pump out some more crack babies. can you tell that will be a good one?) The thing is, no matter how bad it is here at least I don't live in the Oklahoma Pan Handle or any part of South Western Kansas. Wow, what a shithole and I say that with all the love I can muster. In fact these next few blogs I will use to chronicle my trip across this desolate wasteland we cal America. It'll be fun, tell your friends.