On the Subject of Tom Cruise.

I believe that I have had about enough of someone and I must put my loathing on record. That person is, you guessed it, Tom (I love Katie Holmes) Cruise. If I have spelled either of their names wrong, I am not sorry, I hate them both, oh so very much. This isn't about Katie Holmes, however, just about the lunatic that is siring her, space cadet, flipper freaks. What the hell is wrong with that guy? I am one of those people that tries to stay up on what is happening in the world and that means I spend an awful lot of time on the internet. Sometimes I find really interesting things and I write about them but usually I just find more evidence of the fat headed, stupidity of the world around me, that tends to get written about more often than not. Well, this time I happened across a video of old Tommy Boy at a party that was, apparently thrown in his honor by that wonderful organization, The Church of Scientology. Oh, did I say wonderful? Sorry, I meant to say by that, elitist, money grubbing, brain washing, vile, deceitful, obnoxious, ill conceived, religion that follows the teachings of a half assed, barely literate, fat headed moron with less writing talent than Ayn Rand after a frontal lobotomy and being dead for over a decade. Sorry, tangent, you know me, when I hate, I really hate. Anyway, back to the jackass. I have and never will be a fan of Tom Cruise. Most of the rednecks in the Mid-West that lie about being abducted by aliens and probed to cover up their late night sodomy trysts with Uncle Grandpa, are better actors. Of course there is all that speculation that he is gay, I don't care about that, it makes no difference to me. I do have to point out however, that he was in the gayest movie ever made, I of course refer to Top Gun. God, that movie was gayer than a German gay bar in the heart of the Castro in San Fransisco. Yes Val Kilmer was in it but it was still extremely gay. Granted the movie did help "out" all those closeted Airforce pilots so they could openly date/ probe drunk, homophobic, yet curious, rednecks from the Mid-West. To this day Toms acting remains as wet and stale as a big box of "Mama Nasties Old Stankass Urine Crumbles", yet somehow people continue to go see his films. I don't understand it, I figure it works like Bushes Approval rating, if twenty percent of the population loves you, that would be over sixty million people in the United States that approve of you. That does work into my theory that one out of every five people is an ass head. Anyway back to the video, so Tom is dancing and singing and flopping around and all I could think while I watched was that he didn't even seem human. It was like watching a person that was being controlled remotely the way he danced all spastically and sang off key, not that I expected him to dance like Gregory Hines or sing like Frank Sinatra but he was moving like an epileptic Stretch Armstrong. That was when it hit me. Maybe these Scientologists are on to something. Maybe Tom is is not their spokesman by choice but perhaps, by force. Makes sense doesn't it? The poor motor control, the weird speech patterns, aliens man from that planet they say that they come from. They got a hold of him, put a remote control in his nervous system and are using him to slowly take control of the elite in the American entertainment business. Then, after they have full control, they will bombard us with ill conceived plot lines and mind numbing story lines until we are but intellectual putty in their hands. That has to be it, either that or he's just and ass head. That seems more believable.

P.S. For legal purpose, this is parody. Asshead.