On the subject of Saint Patrick.

I am a drinker as you all know, I don't tend to need much reason to have a snort or twelve on any given night. Now if you give me an excuse to wallow in the sweet booze of life but I gotta say, I think I am done with old Saint Pat. Sure big Irish holiday, lotsa fun, drinkin' and feastin' but when you read about it a little too much, it just ruins it for you. Here is some of my new problems with old Pat. First, he was born in Roman occupied England, so he isn't really Irish at all, I am simply saying, how many Canadian saints do we have in America? Not that this sainthood bit makes any sense to me anyway, most of my life I had hoped that canoizing meant what I was hoping it meant, firing the corpse of the saint to be at a large target, inwhich the bullseye says,'SAINT', if the corpse hits the bullseye, well, that's that. Sadly, that is not the case, instead it is a long drawn out thing-o-ma-boring that I care not to deal with. Really, where is the panache? Then you have old Pat chasing the snakes out of Ireland, now I know that this is most likely imagery for christians burning the pagans at the stake and chasing them out of Ireland, or mabye it is a view on the religious beliefs of Pelagius, which I am not going to get into because of a further boring factor, I'll just tell you, it is all a long story about original sin and mans, blah, blah, blah..... All imagery aside though, wouldn't it be more fitting if old Pat was just some drunken nut bag with a stick that roamed Ireland in search of the very few non-indigenous snakes that live there? I personally am tired of these big party days having religious backgrounds. If I am out drinking to beat the band, I don't want some saint hanging over my head or looking down his or her nose at me, except mother Teresa, I would like to get her saintly ghost good and drunk, bring her down to Tijuana and get her to tell the doctors over the border that we need those prescriptions for the orphanage down the street, then we will sneak the drugs back to this side of the fence and sell them at a huge markup. It would definately work. Who is gonna question, or search the ghost of Mother Teresa? Think about it you wrinkly old goldmine. Well to sum up, chasing the snakes out of Ireland is about as impressive as me chasing the polar bears out of my backyard, I do like bagpipes though, that, at least I can still enjoy about old saint Pats day, even though they were invented in the middle east, oh well such is life.