Stupid Bills day of stupid.
Bill had just turned fourty-two years old and once again his mother had browbeaten him through his entire birthday dinner. It had been getting worse every year, especially since dad died. He was pretty sure his mother was going completely crazy and didn't know how to relieve himself of this burden. Bills only friend, a wise and kindly desk lamp that sat near his bed, told him the only way out would be matricide. That very night Bill formulated and followed through on a wickedly violent scheme. Half way through the act of disposing of his victim, He felt overcome by guilt for what he had done and cast himself out of his third story window ending his life. After the police had finished their investigation and decided Bills death was a suicide, his mother returned to the apartment in tears. 'What was he thinking'? She wondered as she took in the sight of Bills ruined mattress, shredded and ripped apart, most of it stuffed into compost bags. 'Oh my Bill', she sighed 'What was going on in that crazy head of yours'? 'Idiot', was all the lamp had to say.
3 comments:
Are you going to do a whole series on patricide, fratricide and sororicide too? Or maybe a more general term for father or mother like parricide, and he could kill a parrot? Or maybe herbicide or insecticide? Is there anything funny about plain old suicide? Could be, I guess we won't know until we see the story.
Pesticide is good too I guess, for a chuckle or two.
I liked the story, but everybody knows that you should always do a bit more research when a lamp tells you anything. Lamps are notorious for misleading word usage. At least double check with the dog or a beatles album!
I think the lamp was just messing with the guy. Lamps are jackasses!
lol... Now who is really the antagonist here?
This is what happens when you give idiots advise
this is perhaps the funniest thing you have ever written.
good thing he didn't confide in his futon, they hate lamps.
Post a Comment