On the subject of trouser attraction.

In trying to answer a question posted by Xymyl in which he asked several questions about pants, both clean and dirty, I fell upon an even deeper subject, government controlled smart pants. I am sorry for avoiding your question Xymyl but I think this may help you anyway. I was researching material about pants and how to communicate to them, in hopes that through communication you and your pants might find some common ground, (look into the works of the late Mr. Anthony Lebaglia, AKA the Pants Whisperer, he has done some ground breaking stuff in the trouser relation field). During my research I came across a website, www. WEBSITE DELETED, DEPT. HOMELAND SECURITY. com. First I thought it was just another prank or consiracy site but soon I was to find out it was all too horribly real. The more I found out, the more I searched, the more of a threat I became, until, late last night, I was savagely attacked by my own pants. It was a brutal, nut smashing attack, it took me two shoe horns, a really sharp pair of scissors and a whole lotta grit and determination to get free but at last I did. When I regained my senses I examined the pants, they were dead by then but in this modern age of science, dead pants do tell tales. Under the microscope at the University of San DIego, I was amazed to discover several layers of flexible, microfiber, placed strategically in the crotch of my blue jeans. The fibers were laid out in a patern not unlike muscle tissue, so that was the plan, major clothing companies now had the ability to control us by force, via our own pants. I believe it was the Shao Lin monks, who first taught the world, control your adversaries craotch and you control him. So true is it not? This is why I believe there is such a stigma in our society about wearing chaps, no crotch equals no control. This is a deeper problem than I would have ever believed and the worst part is how the manufacturers of these wicked clothing actually wave it in our faces. Think about the names of some of the clothes, control top panties, wonder bra, performance fleece, parachute pants, straight cut jeans, the list could go on forever. One thing is for sure though, I am officially done buying any more clothes from Dr. Atomics anti-rebelion jean company. Sorry I couldn't get into your question more Xymyl but I hope this helps you a little.