I never thought of this till a bit ago.

Everyone has most likely seen or at least, heard of Gilligan's Island. You know the story, those people lost at sea during a storm, then getting stuck on that island. every episode they would try to escape but they never quite made it. People would always blame Gilligan, they would yell and abuse him with various head gear, it always seemed unfair to me but I could never get exactly why. Recently, however, I had a thought. What if it wasn't all Gilligan's fault, what if he was just a patsy? Think about it, who had the most to lose from leaving that island. Mr. and Mrs. Howl wanted to escape and get back to their millions. The Skipper and Gilligan wanted to escape to reclaim their fading charter business before the bank seized it. Ginger needed to get back to Hollywood with her looks still intact and Marian, she had to get back to continue giving Daisy Duke lessons on how to cut jeans into shorts. That leaves only one person, the Professor! Oh you sly dog you Mr. Professor, I know what you were up to. You accidentally landed on a tropical island with two beautiful women, a geriatric millionaire couple, a large homosexual sea captain and a good old American moron. You had hit it big and you knew you just had to bide your time and everything would be coming up Professor. You knew that those two ladies would get an itch and, being the only potential sexually acceptable male on the island, sooner or later you would get to scratch it. Suddenly you found yourself in a torrid affair with not one but two lonely shipwrecked women, finally feeling vindicated for all those long, lonely, sexless nights in your college dormitory, sweating just a little bit as you fantasized about a half dressed Barbara Eden granting you a wish that involved more whipped cream and chocolate syrup than you'd ever care to admit. I will admit, he had us all duped, I used to really believe that he was trying to get them off the island but now that I think of it, how hard is it to patch a boat? If you can make exercise equipment out of a bunch of coconuts and some bamboo, if you can find a way to build a functioning shower and hot water heater, if you can use leaves to fashion a two way radio, then you must be able to put something over a hole. It is just that simple and covering holes is one of the most rudimentary of human skills, from making tiger traps to putting on pants, human beings have been covering holes for thousands of years. Let's face it Professor, you got lucky, you crashed onto an island with two hot to trot young ladies, that, just like the others on the island, were too stupid to realize that you were giving them all the shaft (Marty you may put you pun here). I applaud and deplore you Professor, to me you are my hero and my devil. You used those people to fulfill your lusts and that I am okay with. What really bugs me about you is all those brains, all those inventions and you never once though that you should probably fashion some kind of tropical plant birth control device. Now you are on the island with you twelve offspring, two rich corpses, a happy and open gay couple and two angry, fat wives serves you right you fool, serves you right.