Ponderences
Today I will write some things I am thinking. I have been rather heavy of though as of late and am feeling the need for some deep thoughts.
Here goes...
If politicians really want whats best for America, why are they not committing mass suicide by gorging themselves on lawyer flesh? If you think about it this would be a huge step forward in the progress of our society. As they say, you can't make an omelet without cannibalizing a few dozen law students.
Why are so many ugly people anti-abortion? Are they just so mad at the world that they want to make even more ugly children for us to look at?
In the old days war was good for our economy. During WWII or economy thrived. Now we have a global economy, a world wide economy and so, logically, for this economy to survive we must move on to a universal war. It is the only logical solution.
Do you suppose that since China knew they were gonna host the Olympics this year that they purposefully put lead in our toothpaste? Perhaps their government thinks that only the rich, famous or successful athletes brush their teeth in America, since that is probably how it is in China.
No one appreciates the irony of my statue of Ed Gein made completely out of old lampshades.
People like to tell me there is no "I" in team. To that I say "Well there is an "I" in whiskey" and then I smash a bottle in their face and bleed 'em, real quiet like.
I would like to invent the time machine so I could send people back in time to show them just how much Hootie and the Blowfish sucked. Plus it would be fun to send Evangelical Christians back to the age of dinosaurs and then tell them to wait. If they are right, people should show up soon.
That's it for now. Thanks for reading.
1 comment:
...1st of all let me say the whole mass suicide/cannabalism thing should be televised in a kind of 'Survivor-esque, reality tv' deal..that I'd watch.
2nd, I think the ugly will continue to procreate with the ugly until they produce the human version of the duck-billed platypus (as usual, no offense meant to platypuses or platypus lovers anywhere).
3rd, I think universal war is a fabulous idea, wonder what the best way to get that started is...?
4th they're pulling out the big guns over in China huh? But forget toothpaste, I'm too distracted by baby swings that entrap babies, Easy Bake ovens that are easily baking childrens fingers, heaters that heat by causing house fires (ooh, toasty!) and circular saws that are apparently designed to cut flesh and bone instead of wood (a godsend to murderers everywhere)..those sneaky asian bastards.
5th, I definitely appreciate the "Ed Gein Shrine".
(yet another upstanding citizen who is a shining example of the dangers of extremist religious upbringing)
6th, there may not be an 'i' in team, but there's definitely one in 'winner'. (and may it go on record that I despise those who use that famed 'coaching colloquialism')
7th, I've heard some great reasons for the invention of the time machine, and I think yours may be in the top 5. If we could make a pit-stop and nip the inception of spandex as a socially wearable fabric in the bud, it may shoot to #1. That's it for me too...
Thanks for writing
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