It's been a while...

It has been a bit since I have really talked about politics so I would say it's about time I said some stuff. The Presidential election is coming up and, if we can avoid some ridiculous hoax fronted by the Bush administration in order to keep them in power, our White House will soon have a new idiot, phony or flat out liar at the helm. I would like to take this opportunity to get to know some of the candidates. First off, Hillary Clinton. They say Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned and was this Maniacal, seething, hell bitch was scorned? Boy howdy was she ever, and not just in private but instead, in front of the whole world. She was publicly burnt by her chubby chaser husband and she most likely wants to burn the men of America on pyres made of cigars and semen stained dresses. Then you have Barack Obama, sure he has charisma but I haven't heard him say anything that intelligent since he has gone on the circuit. It's funny, he was loved by many for his out spoken ways and now that he is a Pres candidate, he just seems to be spitting the same rhetoric that the Democrat speech writers always spew out. Can't these guys come up with some new material? They are probably the same writers that gave the world Full House and Step by Step. Two shows that made me about as sick as Obamas recent debates. Now I would like to move to old Rudy (I'm connected) Giuliani, Okay you held a city together in a time of turmoil, but wait, isn't that the same city that you helped turn into Disney World on Broadway? Don't get me wrong, New York became a safer place under him, oh wait, actually the FBI will tell you the violent crime rate is still rising in NY, it's just less newsy. Also, he looks like a frog, not that I don't like frogs, I just don't trust them to make good decisions. Then there is John McCain, I hope the Silver Fox club remembers the "Keating Five" and all those elderly folk that lost money because of this giant douche. How he can possibly be running for office after all that is truly a monolith in commemoration of American, laziness and stupidity. We also have a Senator Mitt Romney. He is a Mormon. It is against his religion to drink coffee. It is against his religion to drink booze. We already have an insane evangelical in the White House, we sure as hell don't want a Mormon in there either. You remember that rule about not mixing church and state? Why do they never do that?