On this our national day of love.
I would like to take this opportunity to say, bite me, too all the Valentines day revelers. I hate you and hope you die. This has got to be one of the most ridiculous and stupid holidays of all of the ridiculous and stupid holidays. I can not fathom this day what so ever, one day out of the year to show that certain someone that you really love them? What about the daily rituals of not smashing their skull with a cinder block, sawing them into sink sized morsels and dropping body parts down your garbage disposal, what about that? Isn't the fact that you spend day after monotonous day, with the same person, watching them age and expand in various and unsexy places and ways, listening to them drone, on and on about their day, even though they have been working the same job for ten years and telling you the same story just as long, isn't that really saying, I love you? How about the day that taught, young girl from Starbucks was flirting with you, what did you do? Nothing, that's what, you could have had sex with her too and you know it. You just sucked it up, heaved out your chest and went home to your same old marriage, who needs physical intimacy? Not you pal o'mine, not you. Since I am on the subject of sexual intimacy, come on is that love anyway? You love your friends but you don't have sex with them, unless you're french i geuss. No your partner through all your troubles in life shouldn't ever have to prove their love with heavy touching, should they? Come on, you're living with your "best friend" and friends don't "do it", they show their love in other ways, like repainting the house every two years, or nagging you to near suicide about how your favorite chair doesn't match the couch, that is what love is. Love also means you don't, under any circumstances, have to take care of your body, no, no, no sir. You are two people in love, it shouldn't matter to either of you what the other looks like, that isn't love, that is just shallow. If you know me, you know what I think of shallow people. I just can't approve of shallowness, especially from ugly people. Well happy, stupid national love day, please remember to always show the people you love, every day, how much you love them, by not killing them.
2 comments:
Well joe, I think it is beautiful, the way all these emasculated drones show commerce and the government that they love them. I mean, what better way to tell your wife or girlfriend that she has the possibility of completely dominating you, than to say it with flowers? If a “man” buys his woman flowers at governmentally approved and commercially promoted times that is his way of saying, “any impersonal entity with any random agenda has complete control over me, so it should be no trouble for you to step in and takeover whenever. Oh, and they told me to buy these for you. Oh, and here’s something they wrote on a card that they think is romantic.”
The beauty of waiting for the government or corporations to tell you what to do is that you can use it as inspiration to write quixotic prose on those pesky blank cards that sometimes come with flowers. Possible romantic truths include, “The government wants me to pretend I love you to help fund the war,” “Big Business wants me to buy a 7 dollar greeting card to bolster the economy,” “I bought you this naughty construction workers outfit because I’m a tool... of bandwagon propaganda,” and of course, “you complete me, sincerely Columbian Drug Cartel Workers Union, Logistics Department.”
Some people can find beauty in anything, and that is usually because of mind control, pure, sweet, loving, unadulterated government mind control.
alright i'll agree with you. i've always hated valintines day, but i have other reasons for it now. some of you know that i had to decide to take my daughter off life support on vt-day 4 years ago,(not a joke) but even before that i considered vt-day a very stupid and pretentious "holiday". it's not even a real holiday is it? it celibrates the beheading of a myrtered roman priest who used to marry young couples against the rule of emperor claudious IV. there's a shock a catholic priest getting in trouble for doing something he shouldn't with underage kids. now don't get me wrong i'm for anything the dennigrates the roman catholic church and organized religon in general, but why are we celibrating this as a holiday? but then again we enjoy holidays where people are killed look at easter.
well, i get around vt-day you know how, i show my wife that i love her without being mandated by the hallmark company. i bring her flowers i buy her nice things and i do this on days other than feb 14, sometimes i show my love on july 23 but do i get a fucking dumb ass holiday named after me.....no. ALRIGHT NEW HOLIDAY. june 23 is now marty day, can see it now. "Hi Merideth, happy Marty day here's a case of Guinness some venison jerkey, and the latest Brianna Banks DVD." "Oh thank you Guillermo, I got you a new subscription to SI and a kick in the balls. I love you Guillermo." "I love you too Merideth." hey this holiday thing is pretty easy, and if you want proof of that look to march 14, national steak and a blowjob day.(not making this up) finally a holiday i can get behind, or in front of in this case. there are a few websits dedicated to it so just do a web search to find the site for you.
M~*
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