Ask Inspector Bjorklund.

Recently I was sent a e-mail regarding the possibility of an I-94 serial killer from Mrs. Amanda G. of Minneapolis, MN. This was not so much a question but , instead a suggestion, so people may learn more about the possibility of an I-94 serial killer. Interstate 94 runs east to west, from Billings, Montana, to Port Huron, Michigan it is the northern most interstate in the U.S. I-94 touches seven midwest states and crosses several rivers, such as the Red River, Mississippi and St. Croix. I do not wish to get into the particulars of the cases or really name names but here is the gist. Since about the mid nineteen-ninties over twenty college men have died in Minnesota and Wisconsin rivers, the police have all claimed that these were cases of "accidental drownings". If you look up information on these deaths which you can find at sites like www.vanceholmes.com you will find some interesting things about these drownings. Case in point, all of the bad swimmers fit into the same basic brackets in hieght, weight, build. They all drown mysteriously in rivers accesable from I-94. Most, if not all, of the victims were athletic and at least decent swimmers. I will allow you to read up on it if you wish but, to me, reading what I read I do believe that, either Aipaloovik, the Inuit god of death and destruction has worked his way south and has a hankerin' for young boys, or there is a serial killer loose in Minnesota and Wisconsin. "But Inspector Bjorklund, there is no evidence of that", you may say, to wit I may reply,"well that makes this fellow a pretty damn good serial killer doesn't it"? I say, isn't it the serial killers who get away with it, make it look like an accident or something to that effect, that are the dangerous ones? I am relatively sure that our prison system is loaded to the gills with serial killers that, just really botched their first go and couldn't get a streak going before the Feds got 'em. I also have a pretty good idea that rivers do not really care who they drown, as long as they get someone, I have never seen a hieght, weight requirement for drowning posted, unless you count the Flume at one of those big fair type deals with the sign that says"you must be at least this high, to inhale the murky, foul, piss water at the bottom of this ride". The facts are all staring people right in the face but they are there. People are a strange animal, you must understand, they tend to turn a blind eye when things go bad, it helps them deal with things that scare them. Not me brother, if there is a killer on the loose I want to know, I want pictures, I want recently updated statistics, I wanna see 'em comin' so mabye I can see 'em first. I grew up in the mid-west and I have seen the effects of the blind eye propoganda, the mid-west is a boring, repressed, self righteous area of our country that is just smashed full of churches and bars, alchoholism and family disfuntion simply ooze from those small podunk towns. Places like that are breading grounds for serial killers, yet they tend to avoid those particular problems until they swim up and bite them on the ass!( I love the movie Jaws). I am not mentioning the south at all because, having not grown up there, I can not say how bad it is to grow up there, I just know if I am camping down south, the first thing to enter my campsite with a banjo is dead. I have not found a case involving an I-94 drowning in the last three years, so let's hope that either the drunken winter swimming fad is over and done, or that the freaknick that was drowning people went and did himself in. I have lived my life on such wicked slasher, horror movies as Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm st., and though I hope it is over I am also expecting the drown zombie killer of I-94 to make his or her return. My last view on this case is that the killer is a woman, probably in there laate twenties or early thirties with a nice ass and ta-tas who gets sick pervy glee from watching young men drown. why? because there is never a sign of struggle in these cases, young men will do many stupid things for a woman with knockout guns, especially if the have been imbibing, up to and including getting into or onto a frozen river.