The Great American Conspiracy, Part Two.

So now that we live in a country that is plummeting down the stupid tube at a ridiculous speed. What is the next stage to complete domination of our people? Well, I would have to venture a guess toward laziness. We already know that most Americans are obese and totally out of shape, the last figures I read suggested close to 60% are morbidly overweight, nation wide. That simply means six people out of ten are obese. All you have to do is walk down any street USA and you can see quite clearly that this is factual, (try a sunny California beach during tourist season, it looks like a group of sea elephants wrapped in Christmas tinsel). So, why would the controlling powers on the planet want you fat and lazy? That is so simple it hurts. Fat and lazy people can't fight, simple as that. Modern convenience has turned us into a nation of chubby, languid, cream puffs, nothing more than big hamsters, sitting in our cages waiting for our next scoop of food, maybe later the running wheel? Yes, today is the day I get back into shape and show those guinea pig brothers who's boss. Well, maybe tomorrow, I am awful tired and my favorite hamster reality show is about to start. Yesterday I used 80's sci-fi as an example, today I will use the action movies of the late 80's, early 90's as a guide. Think about how the bad guys always catch the fat, lazy guy and use promises of food and modern comfort to coerce him into giving up the location of the hero. They always break down and then get killed in some horrible way(Think Wayne Knight in Jurassic Park, or that kid in Red Dawn that swallowed the transmitter, sure he wasn't fat but he was lazy and timid, so it counts). It's almost as if Hollywood is either trying to warn the world, or wave the plot in our faces.
What about the fact that it is currently politically incorrect to tell someone that they are obese? In fact some groups are trying to get the word "fat" taken out of the American verbal lexicon altogether. These groups would also like to make the beating of an obese person a hate crime, if you refer to their obesity during the fight. Could you imagine how cocky all those fanboys at Comic-con would be if they were suddenly a minority and knew that beating them would bring a felony down on your head? It would become a safe and secure lifestyle to be protected in such a way by the legal system, which would increase the ranks of the swollen and shiftless immediately. This is all part of the conspiracy by the military/industrial complex to fatten us up and dumb us down. You may ask about genetics and heredity, well I would say that, out of twenty obese and lazy people, one is actually that way because of a thyroid or other glandular problem. I would defy anyone to show me a true genetic disposition towards eating an entire bow of ding-dongs while sitting on the couch watching your stories.
You may think I am paranoid, in which case, you're right, I am but I would rather be paranoid and fit than happily unaware, sitting on my couch collecting dust while our entire society becomes a scene from Max Headroom.