Just too damn masculine.

I had just recently finished with an on stage set at a small bar in Ocean Beach, it wasn't the best I'd ever done but it, by far, wasn't the worst. I walked outside as any stand-up comic tends to after their stage time ends, when I happened upon three women and two men that I had seen in the audience earlier. "I hope you are enjoying the show", I said to the group, "Not really", relied one of the women. I shrugged my shoulders and gave her the look I get when I really don't care what someone is saying, I get a lot of practice with it so it's almost perfect. As I turned to walk away, the displeased young lady, stepped forward to block my exit, she obviously wasn't used to being ignored so it confused her when I turned away. "You're too masculine, that's why we left the show, you act to manly up there." At this I had to stop and look at the group, five people, one woman who was directly in front of me, chin up and shoulders pulled back in an I am woman hear me roar sort of way that is so popular with insurance agents and realtor's. Two other, younger women, infusing cigarette smoke into their lungs and giving me sideways glances that to me said,"I'd go to bed with him but I wouldn't let him enjoy it", scorning me with their eyes but trying very hard not to let any smoke fly in my face. Now I get to the two men, fist they couldn't be overly proud of their situation, after all they had just basically let someone call them effeminate and just took it in stride. I should point out that these two guys were dating two of these girls, they weren't gay, which would have changed the whole scene that was before me. Sure these guys were your average metro-sexual goof balls, polo shirts, popped collars, seams in the pants where someone has wasted good drinking time ironing clothes, you know the kind. So I look this rabble over and then I look into the expectant face of our little roadside Naomi Wolf, who it seams is expecting an apology from me, ironically, for being me. All I can really do is look down into her face, wink and say,"Yep I am all man baby", (which is a line I use as a tribute to Brody from Mallrats) and just turned to walk away. Now, I don't exactly know when being masculine became a crime but it seems to me that it shouldn't be looked down on like it is. If you are any kind of a man, people equate you with rednecks and truck drivers, that is kind of irritating, don't you think? Here I am, educated, verbose, intelligent, active, I enjoy writing and read more than just about anyone I have ever known. Yet, I am looked down upon in this world because I am too masculine, you know, that would really hurt my feelings, if I wasn't a man and I had all kinds of worthless crybaby type feelings crawling around inside of me but I don't, because I am, not just masculine but a full grown man, with stupendous genitals, if I do say so myself.