Celebrity suicides, can you ever really have enough?

You may think this heartless of me but I am always down with a good Hollywood suicide. It's not that I hate the actors, singers, or any of the talent that makes Hollywood such a wonderous place or, for that matter, really want celebrities to die. It just happens that, well darn it, celebrity suicides are just so much more romantic than regular everyday suicides. Who could care about sad, fat johnny down the block, strangled by an electric cord from a cheap second hand lamp, his suicide note scrawled on a page of recycled paper, a dead hand stiffening around a black marked from the local dollar store. Where is the drama, where is the romance? Johnny just didn't have what it took to be a star! The Oxford English Dictionary, describes a star as "a famous and excellent singer, performer, sports player,etc and that is why, when a famous person pops it, they do it in style. Only the finest narcotics course through thier veins, vomit glistening in the moonlight, cascades of the worlds grandest vodka fill air sacks in pristine, picture perfect lungs. Oh, now I am not saying not to do it, if you really need to die that badly, by all means be my geust, just don't think that it is going to get you anywhere that's all. If anything, try to make it look like a murder, if you do it well you may even get your death on the six o'clock news, that wouldn't make you a celebrity but you would get more fame from it than those unimaginative layabouts in the obituary section of the local paper. How could a poor, filthy nobody even began to compete with an eighteen year old celebutante who drives her brand new Maserati off a cliff because daddy didn't realize she wanted the Lexus? Suicide in a Maserati, damn, now that's class! She hit the rails at 175 miles per hour! Your Geos top speed is seventy-five and that's on a hill with the wind at your back. They hang themselves in four star hotels, swinging from italian leather belts tied to diamond chandeliers, It takes a lot of work to become a celebrity, and a lot of work to commit suicide like one. It's not as if just anyone can do it. I suppose in a better world, anyone could be a celebrity, mabye have some sort of mass media that anyone could get in thier homes, put out little videos or music and one day become famous. Think of it, we could have a world crawling with celebrities, fifteen minutes of fame for everyone everywhere. Think of the wonder, think of the joy but most of all think of the suicides. What a world that would be, what a grand damned world. If only it weren't a dream.