Back for more zombies.

One of my earlier posts this week was about zombies and I feel that you all may have thought it was a bit too, let's say, whimsical. I felt i needed to set the record straight, so really I am not dressing myself to prepare for a zombie holocaust. On the contrary, I believe that, if you dress in a fashion that you think make you less vulnerable to zombie attack, you are kind of crazy. I mean, thinking like that, geez, the zombies have already won. How can you possibly hope to repel a zombie attack on the merits of your wardrobe alone? No, the clothes may make the man but it is the weaponry that makes the zombie slayer. I have thought about this long and hard but enough about my body, let's get back to zombies. Now your average walking dead has got an unholy hunger for brains, it is apparent through observation of their eating habits that actual intelligence does not work into this equation and that the actual brain matter is the only thing they really crave, apparently, human above all. Zombies actual aversion to eating animal brains is not so much the lower intelligence of the animals but, the fact that zombies have a lot of problems digesting fur. So, as far as clothing goes, wearing several dead and dieing animals on your body is justified in the event of a zombie attack, or a really wild night in New Orleans. The most important thing you can carry with you is a samurai sword, this is an indispensable tool in the fight against the undead and it makes you look really cool as well. They are also handy for opening tins of food and beer bottles, if you do not have an emergency church key. As a side note, if you can't open a beer without a church key at hand, you will be killed by zombies. Alcohol is one of the major components to zombie survival. It kills brain cells, zombies eat brain cells, therefore, drinking beer, helps shrink the brain, making it less noticeable to the life challenged. I have many tips for surviving a zombie attack and I practice many of them as often as possible. So remember, Sleep with a gun or a sword within arms reach of your bed. drink heavily before going to sleep, to make yourself harder to find. Cover your head with blankets and pillows. Above all, if you are woken by something in your room, start swingin' or shootin'. I mean, maybe your spouse was just out later than usual but maybe there is an unholy spy for the starving armies of tortured souls that must feast on flesh to continue their assault on the living world and it's in your bedroom. Either way, I am sure you can explain it to the cops. Take the green pill if you understand, if not, await sentencing.