A column on ninja's and superspies.

Not too long ago I asked my readers what they wanted me to write about. Jeremy from Minneapolis sent me this request. "I would appreciate a column on ninjas and super spies." Well Jeremy since this is a very loosely stated comment, I feel it deserves a rather loosely stated response so this article will simply be the squeezings of my brain as I consider ninjas and super spies. So let's star off by looking at some definitions.
Ninja: a member of a feudal Japanese society of mercenary agents, highly trained in martial arts and stealth (ninjutsu), who were hired for covert purposes ranging from espionage to sabotage and assassination.
Spy: a person employed by a government to obtain secret information or intelligence about another, usually hostile, country, esp. with reference to military or naval affairs.
A problem did arise with the actual definition of 'Super spy' since this is more of a movie and film idealism and not so much used in actual government. As you can see the basic idea is the same, major differences in time frame are basically all there is to keep these groups separate. Ninjas were quite simply the spies of 14th century feudal Japan.. In many of the writings of Sun-Tzu he spoke of using ninjas to infiltrate the enemy and gain knowledge of their movements, sometimes the would be employed to assassinate people who were important to the enemies strategy. Government spies are much the same idea. So now we know about ninjas and spies but what makes someone a super spy? Well I think that is rather evident, spies do their job for the government that they are affiliated with. Super spies do the same thing but they do it with a bit more style. That's what sets them apart panache, a flair for the explosive. Fast cars, hot women and a license to kill or, if no license, at least the willingness to kill with no remorse and the ability to make a good sarcastic quip about it. That's super spyin' baby. Get the girl, get the info, then get the hell out leaving the burning bodies of your enemies in your wake, then look in your rearview mirror and say something like,"I told you smoking would be the death of you." and then snicker to yourself like the sociopath you are and drive off into the night. See ninjas and spies are covert but super spies or uber spion, if you please, are overt. They do what and who they do in the bright light of day, they flaunt their daring doings all about the country and are rarely known for their quiet, unobtrusive behavior. I saw a movie once about a female super spy that would get her information from senators and higher ups in government by sleeping with them, every one knew about her and they still went to her place and had sex with her. She was naked through pretty much the whole movie and she was getting rich off the secrets. I think another part of the plot was that her lipstick made men or women tell their deepest secrets. I am not sure of the title because it saw years ago that I saw it. I think it was called 'Mrs. Smith blows to Washington', at any rate she was a super spy. So I hope that gives you the answers you were looking for Jeremy. Ninjas and spies, be they turtles, cats, robots or little girls named Harriet, tend toward secrecy whereas super spies lean toward the lunatic fringe and would have sex with your beautiful wife on top of your still cooling corpse, if for no other reason than to protect the crown. Super spies are a sick, sadistic, loud, sexually perverted piles of pent up hostility, rage and psychotic blood lust, yet still have a deep urge to be seen and accepted by the masses and praised, nay, worshipped by all. I do believe I have missed my calling in life.