Things I like: Part Two.
Continuing down the path of things I like, I was reminded by a recent news article, that I quite enjoy when the rich and powerful fall. I say this as a short note about Idaho Senator Larry Craig, who was recently arrested in a Minneapolis men's bathroom for lewd behavior. This story reminded me of so many things I like. I like it when my home state is on the news, just gives me that sense of "hey I'm from there". I truly enjoy seeing a political figure get put in an uncomfortable position. And I do find it absolutely wonderful, when someone openly and publicly claims they are not gay, after trying to, repeatedly, to have sex with another man in a public restroom. Just like anyone else that is not a member of the power people, I like it when the fall. I also enjoy it when the plead for forgiveness on television. That being said, I would like to talk about something else I like. I like boobs. You knew I would have to write it sooner or later, so I'll just get it out of the way now. Now, I don't like them in the same way breeder males like them. I am not and have never been a breeder, so I think of boobs as fun, not functional. They are part of the female esthetic that makes women so attractive. Now as far as boobs go, I am a quality not quantity kinda guy. I am actually quite scared by those women that walk down the street and their breasts are so big they look like the are going to tear the fabric of the blouse as well as space, time and continuity. I just do not believe that quantum breasts are a good idea. Women will often ask guys what is so great about breasts, to which we reply "I dunno, they're neat", this satisfies me as an answer but women want more depth. The fact is that guys, and this means all guys, like bags of things. Try it, give a guy a Ziploc baggy full of Jell-o or even water and he won't be able to put it down. This also explains why men can't stop playing with your boobs when you give them the chance. It is not a deep seated mother issue, it is more like a cat with a ball of string issue, slightly predatory but mostly for fun. If a guy plays with his moms breasts however, that is a mother issue. So what about fake breasts then? I can't argue with craftsmanship, if a job is done well I will be happy with it, sadly there is a ton of shoddy workmanship in Souther California but there is also several shining stars in our fake boob galaxy. I guess when the functionality question comes up I don't even really know why or how boobs work, I just know they're awesome, with their mind control powers and the hypnotic effect they seem to contain. I just enjoy their presence. I guess I can say, I don't know much about tits but I know what I like.
2 comments:
"A foot-tapping ritual was a common thread in many of the 41 arrests reported during a four-month airport bathroom sting that snared Sen. Larry Craig.
An undercover officer would take a seat in a stall. Soon another man would sit in the stall next door and start tapping his foot, perhaps moving it closer to the officer's. The officer would move his foot up and down slowly. The suspect might then extend his hand under the divider between the stalls, sometimes repeatedly.
That would be enough to get the man busted.
Airport police reports obtained by The Associated Press gave strikingly similar accounts of the events that led to the 41 arrests officers made for alleged lewd conduct in public restrooms in the main terminal of the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport during the May-August sting.
The 40 others caught up in the sting, according to the police reports, included airport and airline employees, an account executive with Revlon, an IT consultant for Ernst & Young, a 3M executive and a Lands End employee." This according to Kare11.com.
And here I thought the airport police were looking for terrorists. Note to self, look out for the "foot tapping" in the the restroom.
I think these guys should all wear arm and leg bands that say "looking for gay toilet sex." That way they can meet up without getting in my way.
I used to back in to my parking space at the park because it was so crowded that it was very difficult to get out later otherwise. But it turned out that it IS GAY to back into your space at the park!!! Fortunately I found out about it before I got gayed.
Gay people have stolen my parking style so I can't use it. And I wonder how many other things I am doing that ARE GAY, because gay people keep taking my stuff and making it their own.
I was biking through Phoenix and it was 112 degrees so needless to say, I was exhausted by about mile 20 of my 35 mile ride. So I stopped at a local park, poured water on my hair and sat on a picnic table in the shade to rest. Some dude comes up and sits next to me (about 5 feet away) and starts talking to me. I decided to look at it as friendliness even though the guy seemed odd. But then his thing pops out of his pants and I got on my bike and took off thinking, "did I do something GAY?"
So my question is, what was I doing that WAS GAY? Am I not allowed to ride my bike? Is being in a park GAY now?
When I was a young, thin and "pretty" man, I at least understood it a little. But I'm older, and though I'm not fat or ugly, I'm certainly not "pretty".
I'm starting to think that everything I do will one day BE GAY. I don't want to have to ACT GAY to look NON-GAY. What advice can you give?
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