Random thoughts to ponder.

Today I would just like to muse, you may write me with answers or just enjoy them. If you don't enjoy my musing then feel free to stop reading this and go piss up a rope. Anyway, here goes.

How can Stigmata be considered a blessing yet being caught red handed is considered bad?

Stigmata is said to come along with intense emotions, don't you always get more emotional than usual when blood is spurting from your body for no reason.

If only the good die young, what is the point? Also how evil is Billy Joel?

"What is the craziest place you've ever had sex?" is a horrible question to ask a daredevil sex offender.

My favorite statistic is that any man that still owns a Creed album has a 50% chance of also having a shaved vagina.

When someone gives you relationship advice and tells you to "start with a firm foundation and build from that", you should really verify their carpentry license.

If a woman tells you that she is turned on by a man with goals, that basically means you are ugly but at least you can support her, so you will do. If a man says he likes a woman with goals, that means he is lazy.

Why is there so many shootings in schools with "gun free zone signs"? The answer is poor literacy rates.

I saw a sign that said "No dangerous weapons allowed", no musing that was an actual sign, they did let me in with my candy bombs and my cookie gun.

When will the Bush administration finally lock up the Boogie Man? That guy scares the hell outta me. Also Candy Man and Bloody Mary.

What is up with atheists that believe in ghosts?

If someone tells you that you look violent, is it not your duty to then punch them in the face?

I want to make a reality show wherein we put a baggy of crack around a Kodiak bears neck and let it loose on an island full of crack heads with no weapons. You would be amazed by what a jonesing crack head can build when motivated.

If you are in a religion that believes in karma and someone punches you for 'no reason', you are not as faithful as you thought.

If one in four women have herpes, which is a statistic I heard on a television PSA, then when your grandma has her girls over for a game of bridge, one of those old whores has the herp.

Did it ever occur to those assholes at Total that maybe I like to eat fifteen bowls of cereal in a sitting. Some people just really like cereal.

That's all for now. Thank you for reading my crap.