Things I like.

One of my readers asked me the other day to write about the things I like. That is it, she just wanted me to, not write about things I hate for a while but, instead things I like. So here goes. Todays thing that I like is gonna have to be cereal. Oh, I know you were expecting something more along the "hooray for boobies" or the " I needs me a pool fulla bitches", line of thought and no doubts those topics will arise in the near future but for right now it's cereal. Now I will let it be known that I can not pin down my favorite cereal, some weeks I am a Cap'n Crunch guy, others I lean toward Cinnamon Life. I do, like many humorous people of intellect, like to have at least five varying types of cereal in my home at any given time, this does include oat meal, which is simply a cereal you need to cook. Does cereal make you funnier or increase your vocabulary? Who knows and who really cares to know? The answer to the first question is, of course, yes. I am currently going to the local Mexican and Asian food markets and buying boxes of cereals I have never had before. Sure it is the same thing as corn pops but it has a different name, that makes it all foreign and mysterious. I definitely need to have a box of raisin bran on hand at all times because, like all red blooded American men, I sometimes feel bad if I am not taking anus shredding dumps at least five times a day. I did see a box of prune bran at a store but even I am not that brave. I may be dating myself but I really kinda miss King Vitamin. That was the cereal that was full of sugar that pretended to be vitamins, I ate it as a child and had the DT's for a week after I couldn't find it in the store any longer. I can honestly say that I don't really trust anti-cereal people. You ever talk to a guy and he says something like "Oh cereal is for kids", just sock him in the jaw and steel his car, he doesn't deserve a vehicle and now you have a mode of cereal transport, so go stock up. Then you get those guys that only eat Muesli, that horrible Swiss bird food that somehow got onto the market as cereal. For god sake, it looks and tastes like rocks and twigs, if you were to add berries your bowl would become a close up of a Bob Ross painting. No, there is no fun in Muesli, it is not a cereal and, for that matter, neither is wheat germ, that sounds more like a chemical agent than a cereal. At any rate I love cereal, even the evil cereals that I couldn't eat as a child because of their links to the occult, Lucky Charms, Boo-Berry, Count Chocula, even Trix, which I think has more to do with the rabbit being a street prostitute than anything dark and magical ( if you don't get this part, you didn't grow up in a mid-west bible town). Well, that's it, I like cereal. Time for a big bowl of Kablamo! or whatever that yellow cereal is called.